| ||||||||||||
Being a teenager means navigating the tumultuous transition from childhood to adulthood. It also presents opportunities to celebrate various rites of passage through events such as quinceañeras, bar and bat mitzvahs, debutante balls, sweet 16s, and graduation parties.
As fun, memorable, and meaningful as these events can be, there’s no question that their costs require planning so that they don’t overtake other priorities, like education or retirement.
“It shouldn’t be, 'Oh, shoot, my kid is turning 13 in a year. What are we going to do?'” said Benny Smith, a financial professional with Sagient, a MassMutual firm in El Segundo, California. “You don’t necessarily have to know the exact weekend of when you’re going to have these events to plan for them financially.”
Connect with a MassMutual financial professional
So how much do these celebrations cost, how do families pay for them, and how do you make sure the experience is a positive, teachable moment for your child’s relationship with money?
What teenage milestone celebrations cost
A celebration can cost as much or as little as you want it to, and it can be hard to know how much to save.
While there's no single average — costs vary widely by region, guest count, and scope — quinceañeras commonly run $8,000 to $25,000, but can easily go for more. And bar and bat mitzvahs can typically range from $12,000 to $45,000, but can also go for much more, especially in major metro areas.
“People are pretty uninformed — they make up numbers in their head about what things should cost,” said Rebecca Halpin, owner and event planner with RAH Events in Los Angeles. “Often, their basis is what something cost at a wedding 15 years ago, but prices are not the same as 15 years ago.”
Referencing wedding pricing isn’t the mistake; teenage milestones that were once celebrated more modestly have indeed become events rivaling marriage parties. It’s the time frame.
“Costs have jumped 25 percent in just the last two to three years, especially for food and beverage, staff, and hotels,” said Leigh Danley, owner and event planner with Jackalopes and Jellybeans in Dallas.
More recent estimates from other parents may not be as helpful as you’d hope, either.
“A lot of people talk to their friends to help set realistic expectations of what to spend, but I’ve found that friends are not fully forthright with each other,” Halpin said. “They often forget to include certain costs or don’t want to admit how much they really spent.”
How social media drives up party costs
Social media has also played a role. People can see events hosted by anyone, anywhere, with any budget, rather than just the events thrown by those in their own circles. Families then feel pressure to match or exceed them.
“A lot of the budget is that they’re creating sets in specific areas that can be photographed well from all angles, and hiring a social media photographer who knows exactly how to do things to get likes and shares and make it go viral,” Danley said.
But event planners will tell you that just like everything else online, these photos don’t necessarily reflect reality.
“Most vendors on social media are showing off the biggest, the best, the greatest, and it’s not super realistic to what 75 percent of these parties are actually doing,” Halpin said.
Further, she points out, photos that make an event look lavish don’t tell you whether the host saved a bundle because their friend is a photographer or they held the party on a Sunday. Some vendors also do photoshoots for their social media to showcase what they’re capable of creating, so you could be looking at images that don’t reflect a real event with a real budget.
Where the money goes (and how parties overspend)
The venue and catering are typically the highest-price items. And they can vary widely depending on the region. Then guest count drives the overall cost, since it scales food, beverage, venue size, and rentals all at once.
“At a rented facility where you have to bring in caterers and everything, you might spend $150 to $200 per person,” Danley said.
Also potentially pricey are photographers and videographers, DJs and live entertainment, and flowers, each of which can cost $1,000 or more.
Unfortunately, it’s typically not possible to lock down prices more than a year in advance.
“No vendor wants to give someone a price two to three years out, because we can’t predict the future,” Halpin said. “We don’t want to give someone a certain price, then suddenly there are tariffs on flowers and floral costs have doubled.”
Families aren’t always aware of every cost that goes into these events, which can make it challenging to know how much to save.
Danley’s list of commonly overlooked expenses — which she shares with clients as soon as they start planning — includes gratuities, guest transportation, party rentals, and bar service fees. She also recommends adding a 25 percent cushion to the initial budget and assuming it will get spent.
Another mistake families make: “Do not go into buying supplies with the idea that you’re going to get the money back by reselling them,” Halpin said. “No one wants your used stuff because it’s not the exact color they want, or they need 12 of that item and you only have eight, or your kid’s name is on it.”
How to cut event costs without sacrificing the experience
Prioritizing what’s most important can help any budget — even a young child’s celebration.
“This last birthday party was in our backyard, so we didn’t have to pay for a space, and we got pretty cheap goods from the dollar store and Amazon,” Smith said. “But the one thing we prioritized was to have Elsa [from the hit Disney movie Frozen] come. Elsa is our daughter’s favorite character, and we wanted to do something special for her.”
“Some people would say that was unnecessary, and other people might spend even more, but for us, it was more than worth it,” Smith said.
Choosing a location that provides the party infrastructure may be the budget-friendly choice for more elaborate events.
“You can get the cost down to $35 or $40 per person if you have it at a restaurant,” Danley said.
Booking on low-traffic weekdays or during off-peak months can also unlock venue discounts.
Strategic design choices are another way to stretch your budget without sacrificing atmosphere.
"Lighting is the best bang for your buck in terms of decor,” Halpin said. “Lighting can transform a space better than draping the walls or anything you put on top of a table, and it’s less expensive and less labor intensive."
Knowing where not to cut costs is just as important.
“I always tell clients to beware the Pinterest fails,” Halpin said. “Don’t think that you’re going to recreate these centerpieces yourself and they’re going to look the same and cost less. Because what you’re seeing online, someone did professionally.”
How families pay for teenage milestone parties
Halpin said her clients are typically saving up for events in advance and paying outright to avoid the credit card fees many vendors pass on. Grandparents often contribute as well.
Similarly, for debuts, most families prepare far in advance for the costs, Danley said.
For quinceañeras, padrinos (godparents or sponsors) might help the family out by paying for specific elements of the religious ceremony or celebration, such as the tiara, the last doll, and the dress.
Knowing that you might want to throw a milestone party for your future teen “doesn’t mean that you have to start putting $1,000 a month away when your kid is two,” Smith said. “But it’s important to work with your advisor to plan for it and save ahead of time.”
Even though saving for the party might mean allocating funds away from other key goals, it can still be a smart choice. It can prevent you from paying interest on a credit card or taking early withdrawals from your retirement account. Keeping the money in a separate high-yield savings account can help it grow while keeping it distinct from everyday funds. (Learn more: Why having an emergency fund is a top priority)
Smith said one client borrowed against the cash value of their life insurance policy, then systematically paid it back. It was an easy way for the client to access additional funds without losing much value. (Related: How to borrow from your life insurance policy)
However, there’s always risk involved in borrowing against a life insurance policy.1
Teaching financial lessons through milestone parties
Danley said she has seen parents approach the financial aspects with their kids in a variety of ways.
“Some parents do use it as a teachable moment about budgeting and planning,” Danley said. “They really want their kids to understand what things cost and how to get the best value.”
“Other parents say, 'Please don’t talk to my child about it,'” she said. “'I don’t want them to stress; I don’t want them to worry about it.'”
Halpin said that most parents she has worked with don’t talk numbers with their kids. Instead, they make comparisons to set expectations.
“They might say, 'When you go to Johnny’s party, it’s going to be crazy. Don’t expect that when it comes time for your party. Johnny will have these four things. You can have one of them,'” she said.
Whatever decisions you make, your kids will take financial lessons away from the experience, so it’s a good idea to model behavior you want to teach them.
“If you frame it as, ‘this is what we’re prioritizing’ — not as, ‘this is too expensive' or 'we need to find something cheaper’ — I find that it gives kids as well as adults a much healthier relationship with money,” Smith said. “It’s not about coming from a place of whether we have enough to do it. It’s about what’s important to me today.”
What matters most when celebrating your teen
Celebrating your teenager’s accomplishments and transition to adulthood — whatever the specific occasion — can be meaningful without creating financial strain.
“All of this really comes down to the mindset of what’s important and what you’re looking to accomplish, as opposed to looking out at ‘what do other people expect us to do?’” Smith said. (Related: Custodial Roth IRA rules: How to start an account for your kids)
With the emotional and cultural importance of these events, factoring them into your long-term plan with the help of your financial professional can be a good way to stay on track.
_____________________________
Frequently asked questions about paying for teenage milestone celebrations
Q. When should parents start saving for a quinceañera?
A. It’s hard to start too early; your daughter’s 15th birthday will arrive before you know it. Keeping the money in a separate high-yield savings account and making automatic monthly contributions can make reaching your goal relatively painless.
Q. What are the best ways to save money on a bar/bat mitzvah or sweet 16 while still creating a memorable experience?
A. Prioritize what your teen cares about most, and trim the budget in other areas to compensate. Work with an event planner, and lean on their expertise to get the most for your money. And consider holding the event at a restaurant, which may cost far less than renting a venue and hiring caterers.
Q. How much does a bar/bat mitzvah, quinceañera, or sweet 16 party cost?
A. Costs vary widely by region and guest count, but quinceañeras can commonly run $8,000 to $25,000 or more, while bar/bat mitzvahs can range from $12,000 to $45,000 or more in major metro areas. What matters most is what you can afford — food, drinks, venue rentals, and entertainment often make up the largest-cost items of the budget while the number of guests will amplify what those costs add up to overall.
__________________
Discover more from MassMutual…
How to establish credit for a teenager
10 single-parent money challenges and solutions
For some, microweddings may be a better way to get married
________________________________
